Recent Posts

Email received by the Ministry of Foreign Affairs on 18 December 2012, from The North Pole.

Hey there good Thunderpants people,

Jst a quick note to says cheers for the thundies – received our order of 6000 super-small a couple of weeks ago but have been workin like blazes and haven’t had time to let you know - but they are grand, we are thrilled, they are keepin our rear-ends cosy and our heads warm as some of us hav chosen to wear them as hats, but that’s jst fine - anything to keep things movin on the production line, pretty flat out we are at this time of year as you can imagine, and the Big Man would like to say thanks too his are always very much appreciated as it can get quite drafty on the sleigh and he likes to keep his nether regions snug, and the Boss-as-she-likes-to-be-called is very pleased with her salsa numbers she says they go jst dandy with her new outfit and are as comfy as ever only now the reindeer are complaining – mind you that’s all they ever do, moan moan moan and then dance across the sky what a lark not like us wrapping and pasting until our fingers bleed, oh the paper cuts, and Christ knows what reindeer would do with underwear anyway do you hav any ideas?

Thank you, n a bit of a rush, the elves. 

Soon after the release of our new ‘Dogs’ print we received this rather baffling letter, signed with what looked like a smeared paw-print. Luckily, here at Thunderpants HQ we have a plethora of intelligent canines to turn to at times like these. Below is the original letter, followed by a translation by our language specialist, Seymour Bemore.

Woof thwoof.

Bark bark bark bark, yap bark yap bark yap yap yap grrrr bark bark bark yap bark. Whimper. Bark bark bark bark growl growl growl, yap bark. Howl. Bark bark bark bark. Yap yap howl howl howl.

Sigh,

Ralph.

Dear Thunderpants

At last, a print featuring the most important and loyal and brainy and clever and beautiful animals in the world. My human was most impressed with your good taste and bought a pair immediately. I am writing to tell you of my sincere appreciation as these new underwears have changed our life dramatically. Now we walk quickly and with vigour. Now we no longer have to stop at regular intervals so that the human can retrieve the old underwear from between the buttocks. Poor humans, such a badly planned anatomy, it must be such a problem to have to always be buying coverings for your raw bodies, as you only have good thick hair on the top. We dogs feel very sad for you and are glad that our images are now available for keeping your bottoms firm.

Yours sincerely

Ralph

London Olympic Games 2012 Special Announcement!

A plethora of emails has recently flooded into Thunderpants headquarters from grateful athletes performing at the Olympic Games, wearing our Thunderpants! Here’s a small selection.

Guten Tag

I am here at the Olympics wearing your very good pants. I have the spectacles on my buttocks!

A little about my self: I am a very good table tennis player. (In our country we are calling this game in a derogatory manner ‘pong pong’, I think you are calling it with the ‘ping’) I am very tall and my long arms reach far across the table. With this advantage I will dominate the other players, especially the short ones. Everyone is of the expecting the Chinese will be winning. I am the tall surprise. Surprise! I will be wearing my surprising Thunderpants also. Look for me in the finals. Thunderpants is winning. Gunther is winning.

Danke

Gunther Thomsen

(Table Tennis, Germany)

Hola!

Thank you for your Thunderpants which have arrived only just in time, like the late spring rain on the withering corn. I have been wearing them in training and I am very pleased to report that my jumping is somehow impossibly improved. I am clearing the bar like a bronzed grasshopper leaps from the fields of topaz sunflowers and soars like a sparkling meteor across the clear blue skies of my homeland. (The skies here are more grey like the back of the duck paddling in the mud-thick estuary.) They do not call me The Mexican Jumping Bean for nothing. I have the spring in my feet like the power in the feet of the red kangaroo as it bounds like the fleeting thought of flight across the blood-coloured sand of the Australian continent. And my pants are very comfortable. Even though I am jumping as high and fast as a rocket launching from the slow-spinning earth my pants, they are staying with me. They are like a second skin, a skin which is as comfortable and as soft as the wings of one hundred butterflies.

Gracias amigos. May you always shine like the full moon on the purple ocean of our dreams,

Chico Garcia

(High Jump, Mexico)

Space Invader underpants! Dudes! U rock! If u made thm in racing suits I wld wear thm cos im th pool invader! Blow evry1 outa th H20! Hahaha!

Ryan ‘Diamond Mouth’ Lochte

(Swimming, USA)

Letter received by the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, May 2012.

This letter was found pushed under the door at Thunderpants headquarters. We have no idea who wrote it. None of the views stated in this letter are the views of the Ministry, or in fact, any of the Thunderpants team.

To The Ones In Charge

I am writing this letter as both a warning and an enquiry. I cannot tell you my name. I do not live here. I live elsewhere. You would call me a Survivalist, but I prefer the term Prepper. I am a Prepared Individual Living in Uncertain Times.

Yes, the world as we know it is at its demise. Civilization is just a thin veneer under which chaos and anarchy seethe and roil. There are dire threats approaching from every direction – war, famine, disease and pestilence, (to name a few.) The world is full of pundits, poseurs and mall ninjas, but I am not one of them. I am not an armchair commando, I am a Prepared Commando. I will survive.

I have copious supplies of dried and canned food, fuel, and insect repellent, and a safe and hidden kingdom. I'm ready to Bug Out. I have everything I need to survive, except decent underpants. I believe your product, Thunderpants, are the toughest underpants being made today. And they are very comfortable. When the SHTF there is no reason I should be uncomfortable. I do not want to have to stop to pull my underpants from out of my butt-crack as I'm running from the Ultimate Tidal Wave while taking fire from the Enemy. My only problem with Thunderpants is the awful patterns. What were they thinking when they designed such ugly prints?

I would like you to manufacture a pant with a camouflage print. This would be both stylish and practical. When this is done you could signal to me by hanging such a pair on from the top of the clock tower in Carterton (the climbing of which would be an excellent beginning to your own Prepper training) and I will order 50 pairs in large mens. I will leave cash at a pre-determined drop-off point. I look forward to dealing with you.

'John' (not my real name)

P.O.Box 333

Fantasy City

Nowhereland

Yo!

Hey dudes and dudettes, just lettin' ya know the Thunderpants have landed! And the special cut fits a treat. My super-white most excellent tail pops out of that extra hole like a dazzling cloud, a shining beacon, a ball of vivid luminosity! You get the picture? I look primo! Of course I do. Lovin' the new patterns - the purple sets off my cool mauve nose, and my beautiful blues look even bluer. The eyes, I mean, the eyes. I look so magnificent, the other rabbits round here don't know what's hit 'em. Especially that jabbering idiot Bugs. What's up Doc? What's up Doc? I'll tell him what's up – I AM! Resplendent in my new underwear, crazy fit and ready to hop. Get out of my way you scrawny animated twit! I've been in training all year for this weekend, (those TPs can handle my workout regime, no problems there), I am pumped! I am hyped! I've got baskets of chocolate like you wouldn't believe and I'm ready to go go go! Hoppy Easter dudes and dudettes, and keep those awesome TPs coming! Woohoo!

Yr mate,

T.E.B.

(The Easter Bunny)

P.S. My good friend The Tooth Fairy would like to order some pants. Anything sparkly, size xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxs. Mucho thanks!